I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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