Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I got inside last night via doggy door
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize