Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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