Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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