:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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