Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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