FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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