Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize