we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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