i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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