I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
