Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
