My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
is wine microwaveable?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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