So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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