I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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