I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
