the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
