this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
