Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
