do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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