I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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