Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize