I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
