is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
