if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize