You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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