weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
