# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
