I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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