it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
