I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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