How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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