Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
