Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
