Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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