Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
