I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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