dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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