I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize