i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
