Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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