I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.