I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she looked like the before picture.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong