Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My vagina is officially offended.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.