eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
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Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
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you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.