Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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