i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
What a dumb baby whore.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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