To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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