Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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