so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
