absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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