We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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