The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
