What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
that may or may not have been my penis.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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