is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
