Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
