I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
