I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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