The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
