nut hugger
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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