I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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