Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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