Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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